I haven't been here in over a year. Since then I've gotten a divorce, a new job, and a completely new life. I have survived the hardest things I ever have experienced. Right now I feel so much better than I used to. Life is still difficult but things are better. Right now I am reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It is really helping me live in the moment and lose my negative thought patterns.

Other people can help aim you in the right direction when you are not making the best decisions or focusing on the wrong thing. Today just by talking to someone my mood went from extreme stress to relaxed and laughing. Now I am focusing on good things. The positives.

Having a rock in my pocket is already serving as a reminder to be grateful for things. Anytime I happen to touch it I remember I should be grateful for something even if I cannot at the moment. For example I was really stressed and down and was not feeling grateful for anything. So I asked myself, "what could I be grateful for?" Life was the answer.

Today I am grateful for love and second chances...

Yesterday I chose to make better decisions and ultimately I had a better day. The day before I was a zombie. I was barely functioning and I was focusing on all that was bad. I went to bed right after work and ended up sleeping 14 hours. That was a bad decision. The decision to think about negative things was also flawed.

But yesterday was a lot better. I chose to focus on some positives. Why I am moving out for two months is to regain my taste for life. I was stagnent and now I have an opportunity to grow and fix my issues. If I choose badly within the two months my marriage will be over. If I choose correctly by working on myself and giving it 110% of my effort I will not only save my marriage but I will start a new and more positive life.

It is possible to live your dreams IF AND ONLY IF YOU CHOOSE TO.

Today I woke up to a light cover of snow. I stood outside and I saw, for the first time in a while, the beauty in the world. That helped me remember that I was going to pick a gratitude rock as done by one of the speakers in Rhonda Byrne's book and DVD "The Secret." So I found a small smooth odd shaped rock and I put it in my pocket.

The idea is this. Every morning when I get up I am going to pick up the rock which will be next to my wallet and I will put it in my pocket. As I do I will think of something to be grateful for. Today I was grateful for the support of others. I have been getting a lot of support from a support group, my family, and even my wife who I am going to be living apart from for two months.

I feel better today.

I have been focusing on rotten things for days. Sometimes I see a glimpse of how I should be. I get positive and focus on working on things. But then I will lose sight.

I will aim my sights at making better decisions as of today. I have to in order to keep my marriage.

I have been ungrateful for lots of things for days. It is definitely having a negative impact on my life. I am moving out for two months. In that time I will plan on starting a new daily routine which includes having gratitude every day.

I have been focusing on the wrong things for a while. Instead of being happy about the freedom I am about to have I have been focusing on jealousy and anger. I am making new decisions now. Time will tell if they are for the best.

A great indicator is how I feel.

I have been through a rough patch where I wasn't grateful for anything for a couple of days. I was really down and it effected people around me.  Then I realized what the core problem was and corrected it. I am on track again.

Today I am grateful for freedom and opportunities.

Today I decided to focus on looking at my current situation as not only a positive thing but a potential life changing thing. This month away (separation from my wife) will give me a chance to really work on myself. There is a certain person I want to be and I am not him right now. There is so much more to life.

I feel scared which is good. It means I am growing in some way. If I felt comfortable it would mean I didn't need to  do this.